Refined by Fire

I routinely ask God to increase my faith in Him. It is my sincere desire to love Him more. It is also His desire that I be sanctified. But little did I expect Him to respond to this request with trials that would expose all the ugliness of my heart and show me how little I actually love Him.

I will never again take this request lightly. It is a devastating request. Devastating, of course, only to our natural selves and the personal desires that we love to cling on to. Yet often, it is only through this utter devastation that we truly learn to die to self and love God more than anything in this world.

I asked the Lord, that I might grow

In faith, and love, and every grace;

Might more of His salvation know,

And seek more earnestly His face.

I hoped that in some favoured hour

At once He'd answer my request,

And by His love's constraining power

Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, He made me feel

The hidden evils of my heart;

And let the angry powers of hell

Assault my soul in every part.

Yea more, with His own hand He seemed

Intent to aggravate my woe;

Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,

Blasted my gourds, and laid me low. 

"Lord, why is this?" I trembling cried,

"Wilt thou pursue Thy worm to death?"

" 'Tis in this way," the Lord replied,

"I answer prayer for grace and faith.

"These inward trials I employ

From self and pride to set thee free;

And break thy schemes of earthly joy,

That thou may'st seek thy all in me."

- John Newton