Richly Blessed

I asked for health that I might do greater things;

I was given infirmity that I might do better things. 

I asked God for strength that I might achieve;

I was made weak that I might learn to obey. 

I asked for riches that I might be happy;

I was given poverty that I might be wise.

I asked for power and the praise of men;

I was given weakness to sense my need of God.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;

I was given life that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing I asked for but everything I hoped for;

In spite of myself, my prayers were answered -

I am among all men most richly blessed.

At 2 AM while I was supposed to be doing homework, listening to this song and watching this video  gave a sudden urge to go outside and watch the sunrise...

And so the next weekend, this is where I find myself:
(it's not actually a sunrise but the Bay Area does have pretty awesome sunsets)

It's amazing to think that the splendors here on Earth are just a shadow of splendors to come.

Phil Wickham - You're Beautiful

I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You’re beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It’s all proclaiming who You are
You’re beautiful, You're beautiful

I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You’re beautiful, you're beautiful

When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing
You’re beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful

Life Lesson

Over my entire life it seems, I have ever so slowly been learning just one thing - Not my will, but Thy will be done. "Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above", but even good and beautiful things become an idol when we desire these gifts more than the Gift-giver. Even when God take away or withhold good gifts, I will give thanks for this is how He draw me closer to Him. As David prays, "O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You." So please Lord, strip me of my idols, take away my sins, purge away any choking thorns, strip me until I am bare... until I am Yours and Yours alone. 

I have built a city here
Half with pride and half with fear
Just wanted a safer place to hide
I don’t want to be safe tonight

I need You like a hurricane
Thunder crashing, wind and rain
To tear my walls down
I’m only Yours now
I need you like a burning flame
A wild fire untamed
To burn these walls down
I’m only Yours now
I’m only Yours now

I am Yours and You are mine
You know far better than I
And if destruction’s what I need
Then I’ll receive it Lord from Thee
Yes, I’ll receive it Lord from Thee

And it’s Your eye in the storm
Watching over me
And it’s Your eye in the storm
Wanting only good for me
And if You are the war
Let me be the casualty
‘Til I’m Yours alone
I am only Yours
I am Yours alone, Lord 

Hurricane - Jimmy Needham

Berkeley...

(from the female restroom in Evans Hall)

Echoes of St. Augustine

(photo from Anhui, China)

St. Augustine spelling out my own thoughts in his Confessions over 1600 years ago...

"These things I did not at that time know, and I was in love with those lower beauties. I was sinking into the very depths and I said to my friends: 'Do we love anything save what is beautiful? What then is beautiful? and what is beauty? What is it that allures us and delights us in the things we love? Unless there were grace and beauty in them they could not possibly draw us to them.'"

"'...He made this world and is not far from it.' For He did not simply make it and leave it: but as it is from Him so it is in Him. See where He is, wherever there is a savour of truth: he is in the most secret place of the heart, yet the heart has strayed from Him... Where are you going, to what bleak places? Where are you going? The good that you love is from Him: and insofar as it is likewise for Him it is good and lovely... You seek happiness of life in the land of death, and it is not there. For how shall there be happiness of life where there is no life? But our Life came down to this earth and took away our death, slew death with the abundance of His own life...For He did not delay but rushed on, calling to us by His death, life, descent, and ascension to return to Him. And He withdrew from our eyes, that we might return to our own heart and find Him..." 

I'm always intrigued when people from the past seem to write what's on my mind. It's as if my thoughts were being echoed backwards through time. It reminds that my thoughts are nowhere near as original or as "my own" as I thought them to be. Still it reminds me at least that I'm not going crazy--a good thing for someone who thinks way too much! (For more detail of how this passage relate to my own thoughts, go to this post)